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Written By Onihaxy
****After Bimpe’s text message*******
I cried till midnight, the whole world appeared
to be crumbling before me. I suddenly lost
appetite for everything and the thoughts of
suicide began to fill my heart.
My memory flashed back to the stress, hustle
and struggles I went through for five years at
the university before obtaining the certificate, I
began to remember all the stress I went
through during NYSC, I also remembered how I
squeezed out time out of no time to attend
java and oracle classes, I remembered the
stress of writing the professional exams before
finally getting the results.
“Chai!!!!, Adebimpe wicked gan ni oooo”
After a while, my mind stopped flashing back
to the past and it began to think about the
future. I started consoling myself with the
thoughts that “after all, I can easily re-apply
for another certificates”, but how will that be
possible before thursday evening that I would
have to travel to Ado?.
***weeping and biting my finger****
“Chaii, Adebimpe is just wicked”
“Did I really deserved this extreme
” What do I do before thursday?”
“Should I call my uncle to tell him that I don’t
have my results with me?”
“How will I even say it sef?”
“How do I even reach bimpe and beg her, who
knows, maybe should would forgive me”
“Who knows maybe she had set my
certificates on fire?”
“Will I just loose this chance of getting a
better job again?”
“Will my uncle ever be willing to assist me
“I just wished I checked my credentials
properly before leaving the hospital”.
Infact, I regretted once again for travelling to
niger state for the GNLD interview.
I continued murmuring and crying all through
the night with nobody to talk to, At a point in
time, I thought of calling segun but I couldn’t.
I was seriously angry and mad at him. He was
the one who pushed me and led to bimpe’s
“hard-way” treatment in the first place. Bimpe
shouldn’t have gone to this extreme if he
hadn’t chased her out when she was here with
me in Akure.
Another thought started overlapping my mind.
I began to see the whole things as the
handiwork of my step-mother.
“That woman must be a witch”
“She had never wanted my progress since child
Why must my certificate be stolen at this time
that I needed it for a big job?”
Moments after, another thought came into my
mind that it must be the handiwork of the
people from my village.
“I could remember how my dad used to tell me
that the village people can bring people down
in the spirit realm”
Different thoughts began to overlap my brain
as I continued attaching the situation to every
possible circumstances. I looked at the wall
clock and the time is 3:48am and yet I
“Chaiii, I swear to God, I will personally kill
Adebimpe any time I set my eyes on her
I began to nurse evil thoughts on how to harm
adebimpe. I wish I knew her contacts and
address, I wouldn’t mind paying hired killers
to kill her.
inshort, I must take my own revenge also in a
“This is definitely the Beginning of the end
between me and bimpe”
Its 6am on wednesday morning, I was feeling
so weak, sad, heart broken and depressed. My
eyes were all swollen and my joints were so
weak, I knew it that if I go to work that day, I
would be so sad and it would be so obvious
on my face, but I couldn’t excuse myself from
work because I didn’t inform my boss the
previous day, I thought of travelling to Abuja
that Wednesday morning maybe I could get to
see bimpe, who knows, she might be in abuja
and pretending to be in lagos. But I had a
“What if I couldn’t find her in Abuja?”
“Do I even know where to locate her?”
“What if she had destroyed the certificates?”
“What would be my gain if I couldn’t return
with the certificates?”
At that moment, I just wished I have a black
magic to command the credentials to
disappear from wherever it is and re-appear in
my room. I began to think of locating a
powerful herbalist who could help me to
summon and command the credentials. My
mind and head were just fill with different
thoughts as they are coming and overlapping.
I needed someone to talk to and segun
couldn’t be the person due to the fact that I
was still so angry with him. In fact, I don’t feel
like seeing him again. If he hadn’t pushed me
to treat bimpe badly earlier, who knows, she
wouldn’t have gone to the extreme on me.
I went to the bathroom to have my shower
and I dressed up. I couldn’t eat anything as a
result of my lost of appetite for any food. I just
managed to cheer up and proceeded to work.
I got to work and I was so moody. I refused to
talk and associate with anyone as sadness
was all written on my face. Segun was calling
me but I refused to pick up, after several
missed calls from segun, I decided to switch
off my phone and force myself to concentrate
on my job.
I closed from work in the evening and went
home straight. On getting home, I saw segun
seated on the bench infront my compound. As
I approached him, I was so annoyed and
furious within me, I just felt like hitting a
plank on his head. I walked pass him and he
greeted me but I ignored. I entered into my
room and he followed me inside.
SEGE: bro, wetin happen?, you just dey ignore
my calls since yesterday, I was feeling
uncomfortable and I decided to visit, you still
ignored me. Why?
ME: raised eye brow why won’t I ignore
you segun?. WHY?
SEGE: what have I done wrong onihaxy?
ME: so you don’t know what you did wrong
SEGE: pats me on my shoulder we are no
more friends but brothers, if there is anything
wrong, why not just tell me?.
ME: Are you not the cause of all the atrocities
I’m facing from Adebimpe?
SEGE: my brother, how?
ME: you dey ask me how?. If you hadn’t
pushed me to hurt this girl in the first place,
this wouldn’t have happened.
SeGE: I’m so sorry about that onihaxy, if you
say I was wrong, then I admit it, though I
never knew I was wrong by teaching her a
ME: which lesson?.
SEGE: she is a prostitute and a scammer
onihaxy!!, don’t you get it?. She used your
money to travel down here to visit another
ME: and I’m here paying for the consequences
SeGE: I’m so sorry about that, let’s put that
aside and let’s focus on how to solve the
problem at hand. Tomorrow is thursday that
you are supposed to travel for your new job,
how do we go about it?, that is why I’m here.
ME: Mr segun, there is no solution as I
couldn’t retrieve my credentials, so I can’t
SEGE: haaa!!, so what do we do next now?
ME: frowned nothing, you can go now.
SEGE: are you chasing me out of your house
ME: segun. I am not only chasing you, this
Friendship is over!!!, let me just face my
destiny alone abeg,
SEGE: moves closer to pat me on my
ME: removes his hand
ME: yelled*** ehn ehn!!!!, what happen!!!!!?
SEGE: we have been friends now, its close to 8
ME: and what does that teaches us?
SEGE: it teaches us that we have gone too far
to split up.
ME: thats none of my business
SEGE: ok, even if we must break up, we must
first find a solution to the present problem
ME: **screamed ogbeni, sebi you heard me,
there is no solution!!!, you can go.
SEGE: onihaxy, calm down, I will never leave
you like this and I will never leave this place
until this thing is resolved. If you like, go and
call police for me or get me arrested, I won’t
ME: ignored him
SEGE: that reminds me, I think I have found an
ME: began to smile gradually
SEGE: that’s my nigga. You are always
handsome in that smile.
ME: sege talk to me jaree, what is the
SEGE: before I shipped in the alternative, why
not try bimpe’s number again whether it will
ME: it doesn’t go through since 1960
SEGE: werey!!!, just try am first jaree.
ME: ok stretched my hands to my bag and
brings out my phone and switched it on
SEGE: oloshi!!!, so you switched off your phone
before?, no wonder the thing no dey reachable
since afternoon wey I don dey call.
ME: switched on my phone and saw an
envelope sign followed by a message tone e
be like say I get message
SEGE: hissed, na those silly MTN people,
dem no dey let person rest, na so so silly
messages dem dey send. Abeg try her number
ME: ** opened the inbox and noticed a
familiar number sege, no be MTN oooo, na
from a familiar number.
SEGE: ok, maybe na one of your concubine
ME** I read the first line which says “its me
ME: na from bimpe oo
SEGE: really?, wetin she talk?
Segun came closer and we sat together to
read the message which says
“Onihaxy, its me adebimpe, if you still need
your credentials, deposit a sum of 200,000
naira to the account name and number below,
as soon as I confirm your deposit, I will give
you a call and send the credentials to you via
a public transport, if you try anything funny,
you will be the one to suffer the consequences,
bye and take care”.
SEGE: 200,000 what!!!!, where do we get such
amount between now and tomorrow?
ME: what do we do now?
SEGE: I’m clueless onihaxy.
Part 3 Me: segun, today is wednesday and I have to travel for this job tomorrow, where will I get 200k now? SEGE: onihaxy calm down, getting the 200k isn’t the issue. ME: why is it not an issue? SEGE: Adebimpe is the major issue ME: how? SEGE: can’t you see it clearly that this is a blackmail business? ME: I still don’t understand SEGE: the way I’m seeing it, Adebimpe will never send any credentials to you even if you pay a million naira ME: why did you say so? SEGE: someone who is so desperate for a revenge and even went to the extreme of having your vital credentials in her custody, why should we trust her when it comes to money? ME: hmmmmmmmm. “Ayemi ooooo, Temi bami”. SeGE: onihaxy, come to think of it, someone who switched off her phone all this while and only send text once in a while, it is so obvious that she would switch off again after getting the deposit alert. ME: it seems you are right. So what do we do now?. SEGE: let’s do it this way. Call her number first and let’s negotiate with her. ME: ok dialled her number*** SEGE: is it going through? ME: ***phone: the number you have dialled is unable to receive call**** Its saying unable to receive call, what does that mean? SEGE: it means she barred all incoming calls. You see what I was saying?, this girl don upgrade to “blackmail business” ME: **wanted to cry segun please come to my aid, my world is crumbling, what do I do?. SEGE: calm down onihaxy, I just thought of something. ME: what is that? SEGE: you remembered that you scanned your credentials and sent to a particular firm you applied to in lagos few months ago. ME: oooh yes I remember!!!, how about it? SEGE: yes, we will make a coloured printout and laminate. ME: will it look like the real one? SEGE: at least 80% real ME: so how do we go about it? SEGE: the time is just 8pm. Let’s rush down to the cafe down the street to make the print outs ME: Are we still going to find a cafe by this time? SeGE: hopefully, we should. ME: but I don’t have much on me at the moment SEGE: don’t worry, I still have like 1k on me. ME: ok, how about the original credentials with Adebimpe?, am I going to forget it just like that? SEGE: my guy, when we find a successful alternative, then we can now talk about how to retrieve the one your wife is holding. ME: which wife be that? SEGE: your lovely Adebimpe laughed ME: you no well, the girl wey be say I go kill any day I see her SEGE: the onihaxy that I know will always fall again and again on Adebimpe’s lap anyday anytime. ME: laughs. Seriously sege. You know well SEGE: na lie? ME: honestly, e be like say that girl dey use charm on me sef. SEGE: no be charm, na her juicy honeypot dey kill you. ME: abeg forget bimpe matter jaree. Let’s go to the cafe first. SEGE: ok We walked out of the room and I locked my door, we walked down the street and found out that the cafe had closed. We trekked to the next cafe and we found out that it had been closed also. ME: sege, what do we do now?, SEGE: maybe till tomorrow be that. ME: ok, I saw segun off and I returned back to my house. I felt relieved and eased. I began to get hungry and regaining appetite for food. I dropped my phone on my bed and went to my kitchen to prepare noodles. I was about to empty the sachet of the noodles into the pot when my phone was ringing. I rushed to see who is calling and it was my uncle. I picked up the call ME: hello sir UNCLE: aburo, how are you? ME: I’m fine sir UNCLE: ehn ehn. My chairman said he is travelling by 10am tomorrow morning, ME: haaa, UNCLE: you know what that means? ME: no sir UNCLE: you have to follow early morning bus. You must be here latest 8am in the morning so that he can attend to you before travelling. ME: ok sir. Thank you very much sir. UNCLE: ***hanged up***** I suddenly lost appetite again and I began to soliloquies, “this must be the handiwork of the people from my village”.
[story] Adebimpe the facebook girl (complete season 3)