#WorstSexExperience: The sex was like Namadi Sambo’s vice presidency, boring and uneventful, Jesus?! Who send me sef?

Mr RockJanuary 15, 2018

On this particular day, we hit the island early, at about 9pm and it was still quite young to go clubbing, so we decided to hit the beach because we couldn’t afford alcohol at the club, we would get stupid high from the cheap stuff at the beach then hit the club to dance like…

This is a clear case of succumbing to peer pressure, a couple of years ago. Perk of having a car at a young age is that you get invited to all sort of cliques during the alcohol fueled outings. Two of us had the cars, and we would help with transporting our clique around the gyrating weekend nights on the island.

This night was like the others, we hit Kuramo beach, we left all the valuables in the car. Phones, wallets, wristwatches, anything that can cause internal grief when lost. We got in, and strolled in, people conversant with Kuramo back in early 2000’s will know how about the ashawos at the beach then.

You can actually get a blowjob for N700, true story, one of us did.

At Kuramo, they sell sex there like they sell clothes in Yaba, some prostitute go as far as dragging your arms, as you walk along with ‘catchy’ lines such as

“Fine boy!”

“Come na”

“You go enjoy am pass your gehfren”

So, boys decide to go ahead. For me, it was my first time. I have had sex before but not with a prostitute, I’m not being holier than thou but I just never had sex with a prostitute, that simple. So we got negotiating, and everyone got theirs, the one I selected was attractive.

We walked into the bamboo structure that was a little bit off the ground. I was finding out new things, the were almost no doors, the ones with no lazy doors had curtain, flimsy material curtains, no one was moaning and the whole place was just somehow.

I was naive but was hell bent on trying this out, before I could say anything, she was already naked, as a romantic guy, I would have loved the pleasure to do that. She had done it all by herself, she was holding a condom, she tore it with her teeth and handed it to me.

I was caught in between just yanking out my dick without taking off anything or just taking it all off and get busy. I thought back at it again, and just brought my dick alone and strapped on, and the thing became mechanical, she just laid there, and received ‘it’.

I was scared but already started fucking, all sorts of thoughts running through my mind, a bunch of ajebutter boys in Kuramo having sex with prostitutes, what if we got kidnapped or our clothes got stolen or even the cars get stolen after they search through our clothes for the car keys.

I tried to shut out all the thoughts but my kind of sex is full involvement. Kissing, touching and all the other works but this girl isn’t just cutting it. She just wanted to make me cum and be done with it, and in all sincerity she was nice about it but kole werk.

While thrusting into her, I made to touch her boobs but she brushed my hand away. It would have been a better story to watch paint dry on the wall.

So, after less than 20 seconds, I pulled out, dumped the condom, and paid her the agreed N1,500.

“Fine boy come na!” She said as I pulled the curtain back and literally ran out of there like I was chased like a dog.

She ran after me and caught up, as I slowed down then she said

“Bring 5k, I go fuck you like say you be my boyfriend”

And that was the last time I stepped into that beach. Never tried that Kuramo thing again, but then the new breed came in, the olosho and runz girl generation.

Story by Anonymous

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